The Deer
The Deer By Xela
My feet plodded along, kicking aside long swaths of barley where they had fallen across the thin, dirt trail. The sun had nearly set and the evening breeze was cool. The undulating field of wild grain swayed in waves at the light touch of the wind. A snaking line of flimsy trees was the only interruption in the rippling, golden mass turning brown with the fading light.
As I walked a green leaved willow momentarily blocked my view to the right. In a few steps, I had mounted a small rise and was able to see around the tree. A family of deer was standing so close I would have seen the subtle shadows that marked their lean muscles if the light were brighter. They were eating the green grass that grew beneath the swaying shafts of gold.
Instinctively, I stepped off the dirt trail and into the overgrown field. My foot swished the long grass harder than the light breeze ever could have. Barely fifteen feet away, the deer closest to me swung her neck up without moving her alert, triangular head from my face.
For a moment we stood there, contemplating each other. I did not blink and she did not flick an ear in unease, but a slight twitch on her foreleg seemed to give an indication of readiness to run. Her dark, long-lashed eyes stared deeply into mine though whether she was divining my intent or searching my soul I could not tell. With a deep breath, I took a tentative step toward this beautiful creature.
Immediately she sprang away and all the accompanying family members flew with her, tripling the distance between us before slowing to a halt. Feeling it was comfortably far, the youngest began to graze, but the one who had watched me remained vigilant. I slowly shuffled into the tall grass, for no logical reason needing to come close to this lovely creature who had somehow gained my respect in such a short time. Her ears strained toward me as I waded in her direction through the rustling sea of grain.
A second before her action, I knew I had reached the deer’s diameter of safety then barged clumsily through it. I watched her turn her delicate neck, pointing her head in the opposite direction. Though I heard no sound, I knew as she gazed meaningfully at the other deer this matriarch was speaking to her friends. A second later they all simultaneously bounded away and pranced up the next rise without looking back. In moments they disappeared over the hill and passed out of my life forever.
A sense of loss pierced my heart the moment that noble animal’s lean brown body, nearly a silhouette in the low light, disappeared. The small depression she had been feeding in seemed deserted and cold. I considered following, but realized I would never find her in the disappearing light. My beautiful connection with that creature had been broken by a single step in the wrong direction. I stood there for many minutes, watching the air turn from brown to gray in the ever-dimming light.
I considered the cruelty of the animal kingdom that kept us apart. She had responsibility over her small herd and I was a top predator in her eyes. Even if she had spoken my language, ‘friends’ one thing we could never be. I looked over at the dirt trail and sighed before slowly turning back to the road. Listening to the rustling of the barley I wished for things that could never be and stepped onto concrete.
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