Facts about Finding Dragons.

April 1st is made to be dragons’ favorite. Basking day means the wind is changing.

The first thing I have to say about this momentous day is that tracking dragons is clearly the safest thing you can do today.

Fresh clean air. Avoiding people. Staying more than six feet away from a dragon is probably your least concern if you are being chased.

What’s up my lovely fellow sentients? I am Xela and today I am telling you the five most effective ways to track dragons. 

Number 1: Check for tracks.

Dragon tracks are not hard to miss if you can find them. Dragons, the ones we know and love are very large in adulthood. The most common tracks will be four or three-toed. Though if you find a three-toed dragon track beware. Those suckers have toe claws like a velociraptor. 

Number 2: Scat

It’s always a promising sign if you can find Dragon scat. It means you have entered their territory. Dragon scat will have a slightly sulfurous smell if you are on the trail of a fire-breather. If you smell sulfur look around for bits of burnt wood or grass. Fire dragons like a warm place to sleep and that can mean a favorite burning log. 

If however, the scat smells more like your aquarium that you haven’t cleaned in three months where your fish decided to swim upside down at the surface, three weeks ago, then you have a water dragon on your hands. As long as there is no smell of ozone and electricity, it is not a storm dragon. 

Warning. If you find evidence of a storm dragon in your area take cover immediately. Run home and lock your doors until the storm wall passes. You’ll thank me later.

Number 3: Bones.

Now there are a multiplicitude of predators who will leave bones scattered from their quarries and dragons are not left out. However, If you find a stack of bones be very careful to observe. If the bones are stacked haphazardly, you have a hungry dragon on the loose. Proceed at your own peril.

 If the bones are neatly stacked you have a precise dragon on your hands, one that you are more likely to be able to talk to without them seeing you as just food. Do make sure there are no human skeletons in the stack if possible. The huge round skulls should give it away. Humans are freaks of nature with no proper maxillary muscle strength to squish their heads like a proper earth ape. 

If the bones are licked clean and stacked by individual bone type run for your life. Neurotic dragons have a tendency to track you and tackle you to the ground to pepper you with questions for days until your ears begin to swim and you grow so thirsty you consider drinking straight from the lake then when the dragon finally falls over from its own exhaustion you are left to stumble to your car and zoom home only to find the dragon’s minions have stolen all your pillows and sheets so you fall asleep on your naked bed and wait to go to Bed Bath and Beyond until the pandemic ends. Or maybe that was just me.

Number 4: Trust your instincts.

I don’t know what brought you to this point, fate destiny, a horse. But if you close your eyes and stretch out to sense for a dragon. Trust it when there is nothing nearby. Do be careful not to reach out for anything else while you are looking for a dragon. You don’t want to accidentally push a word into the minds of the local hags and make them mess up their rain ritual only for it to rain uncontrollably above their hut for three days. They don’t take kindly to that kind of meddling.

Number 5: Pray to your God of Choice

If you really need to find a dragon, pray about it. I don’t care if you follow Christ the sassy bible savior, Artemis of the hunt, or Shiva of destruction and rebirth ask who you will. Though if you do pray to Shiva about finding a dragon don’t be surprised if one shows up to decimate the local flora and fauna. Fire is great for destruction and rebirth.

Whether it is for protection, help, or signs to guide the way, be careful and have faith. 

Warning: You will not always get an answer that leads you to dragons as some goddesses and gods have a more internal struggle focus. If you pray to find a dragon and suddenly find your anger issues being sparked at every inconvenience, congratulations; your inner dragon got awoken. Be careful what you ask for.

There you go! The top five ways to find a dragon. As long as you don’t become your own dragon you should find one just fine. Just, please have a plan for when you meet a dragon. They can be touchy. 

Hmm, maybe that’s what I should do next.

Until next round. Stay sentient folks!